. . . to carrying my own bags to the supermarket.

1. My collection is miscellaneous. They don't match my outfit. People will call me the bag lady behind my back.

2. It's hard to remember to take bags when I'm going out.

3. I never say "I have my own bags" fast enough and the cashier starts putting my stuff in a plastic bag and then has to take it out and then I bet he throws the bag away anyhow and the whole exercise becomes pointless.

4. At the regular checkout they have these new carrousels specially made to hold their plastic bags. My bags don't fit on them. . .

5. . . so I buy just 12 items and go to the self-checkout. If I put my bag on the table the computer thinks it's an item I haven't scanned and says PLEASE CHECK WITH THE CASHIER. So I have to scan all the items first, put them on the scales, and then put them in my bag in my cart without touching the table.

6. I need a few plastic bags for kitchen trash and wet swimsuits and stale bread and keeping dirty clothes separate from clean clothes when I travel.

7. Taking my bags to Whole Foods is one thing. They encourage this and they give you 10 cents a bag. Taking my own bags to the little store in a small town in Michigan is something else. It marks me as a city person (which I am but I'd rather not advertise that fact).

8. They don't always get it even at Whole Foods. One time I asked for the 10 cent credit because I carried my stuff out in my hands rather than take one of their bags and the cashier refused because she said it was just for REUSING bags, not for using no bags at all.

Nevertheless, I did it. I took my big new bags, which I'd gotten at the first annual Chicago Green Festival, to the small store in the small Michigan town. "What nice bags!" the cashier said. "I had one almost like that but I gave my whole bag collection to my daughter and I'm starting over. I hate all this plastic, don't you?" She handed me my receipt, which included a 3-cent credit for each of my bags.