Looking to the past, I know that my history was always whispering to me about Guardians.  When I was very young I needed one to save me, but I had to wait.  Until now..  Then was a rough time-no details are necessary or offered.  Just a rough time.  Of course I did know I was loved by the males who raised me, I claim to have been raised by wolves.  This is not the exaggeration you might think it to be. 

Only the past 2 years find me a Christian and an approachable person.  Before that I was quite militant in my stance against Christians, most males, and anyone who asked about my beliefs.  My people do not discuss our belief system with outsiders, nor do we share our language.  I still refuse to betray that, but I no longer resent people who ask.   It took a man named Jeff to break through resentment and find me.  Our story began when I was 6.

During a hideous event in my 6th year on this planet I heard a voice.  It was an adult male who kept telling me that he was there with me and would always be there with me.  He kept telling me that it would be ok, that I would be safe with him, that he was there to hold me through all this.  I am guessing that many would think it was the voice of God.  Not so, it was a voice of a real living human male.  It would take decades for me to hear it again.  But from the age of 6 until I was 11, the voice was there in my deepest despair.

In 2001 I was divorced(again) from my son's father and on my own in the world.  A friend of mine posted an internet personal ad.  I ignored all the emails I received from this ad and did not find it amusing in the least.  One email I answered, one man I felt compelled to meet.  He was patient and understood my need to check him out before I met him, so he told me where he worked on weekend mornings from 3a.m.-9a.m.  He had this job as a supplement to his regular job.

The stalking began, my friend and I would go and observe him on Saturday mornings.  He was not my physical "type" at all.  I had always been drawn to long haired rock and roll bad boys.  He did look like a bad boy, but he shaved his head.  He was very brawny, and that usually scared me.  However, I wanted this man for Christmas or my birthday.   The odd thing is that I really wasn't looking for another chance to get my heart broken.

He and I decided through email that we would talk on the phone.  Little did I know that my entire world was about to be turned upside down and shaken.  I called the number he had sent and the voice from my childhood answered the phone.  I am a practical person, a skeptic of the first order.  And yet I know to this day that his was the voice from my childhood.  Now we are married and it IS ok, I AM safe with him,  he IS there to hold me through all this.  The odd part?  When I was 6, so was he.  It was his adult voice that I heard.

I have been so ill that my doctor told us to buy my funeral dress.  I have been so scared that I couldn't even speak.  He has pulled me to my feet time and time again, and still I knew nothing of Guardians of Future Generations.